That Which is Me

There is a special place for me that is down a little path. It sits between two giant cedar trees and is far enough away from the main house to feel like I’m away from it all. I suppose it’s really a private place where I can deal with my life in general. It has a door that locks and three windows that let in enough natural light when I want it and blackout drapes for times I need darkness and privacy. I appreciate this place I have and am so grateful for the opportunity to be able to enjoy it (“it” being what I affectionately call my “Lair”) as much as life allows.

It’s my office and workspace with a big desk where I can write, draw, or waste my time. There is another craft table for collage/mixed media projects, painting, etc. I find that the cycle in which I move through these different projects remains in harmony with what my spirit needs; the nourishment coming from the creative flow of what I choose to do. There are walls with bookshelves stuffed with way too many books, and 2 reading chairs where I can read or crochet. It also has a massage table and placed in one corner is my altar and in front of that is my ritual/meditation space.

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There are many times I have to tuck back the sheer nettings, stack the pillows, and roll back the sheepskin rug to make room for my sewing table or to pull the massage table away from the wall. Sometimes the entire room is a cluttered mess with projects in progress.

Today I thought about all the reasons I go out there and what I use that quiet place for. The list got ridiculously long, so I decided to pare it down to describe what I feel is the most important and basic need I have of it. My altar.

The one thing in the “Lair” that never gets moved, untidy, or packed away is my altar.
It’s the one place in my life that I know will be there the way I need it to be at any given moment. I love being in that spiritual space in front of my altar, but it’s not limited to one location….. Yes, it’s a physical space, but it’s also with me by being within me. The only boundaries are those that are created by me whether on purpose, accidental, or coincidental.

When I clean my altar, rearrange the items on it, change the cloth, or update the essentials, I commit the changes to memory so that I can access it anytime, anywhere. I can be in the middle of the grocery store and feel the familiar spike in anxiety or pain. I can choose to tense up and try and rush through or I can close my eyes for just a moment and allow the image of my altar to flow into my mind. I can reach out and touch an item, smell the incense, and feel the warmth of the candle flame all within a moment and a deep breath.

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Meet Seymour, Guardian of my Altar

I need that place, not just the physical location, (although that’s also nice) but the true nature of what it embodies and my accessibility to it. It exists far beyond my physical reality. It’s teeming with emotions and memories; it’s a vessel of intention and magick; it’s about love and passion; music and poetry; it’s brimming with mantras and dreams; it’s overflowing with my wishes and desires; It’s a place of creative prompts and encouragement to do what it is that makes me happy and fulfilled. This is the altar of my private sanctuary, and mine alone. It’s where my heart can dance because it is simply me.

Many Blessings on Your Journey )O(

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