My Soul’s Compass

May 27, 2015May 27, 2015 / The Zen Witch / Leave a comment

Taking a Closer Look at my Astrological Gene

I’m a woman in search of my soul, trying to find my unique connection to the divine as I understand it to be. I’ve always known that one of my major goals in this lifetime was living a spiritual path that rang true to me. I’ve spent decades fine-tuning, soul searching, reading, studying, and learning about everything that resonated with me deep in my core. This journey has led me to live my life with much more awareness because now I allow everything I do to be an opportunity for spiritual growth. The more I allow this to happen the more and more opportunities present themselves.

So it was no surprise when I was cleaning out an old bookshelf in the corner of my art studio and found a folder partially shoved between the shelf and the wall. I pulled it free and looked over the red paper folder. I ran my fingers along the worn edges and pulled back the cover. There inside was my handwriting along with a painstakingly drawn circle with intersecting lines. There were a lot of handwritten pages behind the first, and as I flipped through them, I couldn’t help but smile. Bittersweet, but a smile nonetheless and I wondered why I hadn’t put this folder somewhere safe instead of accidentally coming across it two decades later.

Over two decades. Had it really been that long? No way…Those impressionable years of my life were full of self-discovery as I was courageously coming into my own and finally taking control of my life. It was also a period in my life during which one of the most insightful developments in my spiritual journey occurred.

During my late teens I began studying the occult more seriously. I had already been reading the Tarot for several years and I was always fascinated by the connection between the suits, the elements, and astrology. So when I came across an enormous tome on astrology at a garage sale, I considered it to be quite a find. It’s one of those things I purged during one of my later moves, and I regret not keeping it.

It took me all summer, but I read through that astrological reference ‘bible’ with its crinkly paper-thin pages and writing as dry as stale bread. Its only saving grace was its intricate illustrations. Since there was a step-by-step section on how to draw your own natal chart, I decided to take on the big task of drawing my own. It proved to be much more difficult than I had anticipated.

Before reading my garage sale find and getting a glimpse of the sheer magnitude of astrology, the most I knew about it was that I was a Cancer sun sign, just like my grandmother. She liked to remind me of our little corner of the zodiac and would explain our Cancerian traits at the same time she was teaching me to roll out pie crust. My life, like hers, would be filled with sentimentality to the extreme, a tendency towards crabbiness, but lots of love to make up for it, and the joy of nurturing others with homemade pot pies and jelly rolls. I was about to learn that there was so much more to me than the well-known sun signs, and when I began researching, it seemed like a bottomless pit (and in many ways it still is).

It didn’t take me long to find out that I was in over my head and that it was a project that was going to take me longer than just a lazy Sunday afternoon. There wasn’t a lot of readily available information out there for me to get my hands on as this was during the late 1980’s, so there was no internet option to explore. No copy and pasting or software program. It took patience, something I have always been short on, and this was a rather good lesson for it. I spent plenty of time at the local library. I raided friend’s bookshelves and then the bookshelves of their friends, their parent’s friends, etc. and I was thrilled when I finally got my hands on a real ephemeris.

When I was finished I could plainly see where in my life I had already traversed, and there appeared to be a clear trend of what lay ahead. I was in awe, as it clearly pinpointed certain times in my life with amazing accuracy. It was worth every intersecting line I drew, and every degree I counted. The research and understanding of the houses and other key components finally fell into place and began to make sense. I had connected the dots, creating an amazing map of my life’s path and my unique spiritual journey. I had in my hands a powerful tool to aid me in my spiritual growth. My natal chart gave me a closer look at who I was and the amazing outlook on who I had the potential to be.

Several years after my Grandmother passed away, I obtained her birth-date information and drew her natal chart which showed striking similarities to my own. Signs, planets and houses were just the tip of the iceberg. There were traits about myself that I was already aware of, but to what depth they reached was unknown to me until I took on the adventure of drawing my birth chart. After its completion I had a firm grasp on where I had been and a better idea of where to go from there. It was now easier to see the best choices I could make in order to develop my strengths, and I now had a deeper understanding of how I could effectively ease or overcome my weaknesses. There would be dangers and pitfalls to look out for during certain times in my life and plenty of opportunities that are worth a second look. My natal chart was (and still is) my soul’s compass and although I have since printed it out from several different websites over the years, I am proud to say that my original hand drawn one matches up perfectly. The original is now safely tucked away in my old sentimental box of treasures and keepsakes.

Do you feel your soul’s compass?

Many Blessings on your journey )O(

The Real Me, The Real You

May 22, 2015May 22, 2015 / The Zen Witch / 2 Comments

My True Self

It’s strange to think about all the roles I have played in my life. I was a daughter, then eventually an adopted daughter, only child, competitive figure skater, good little Catholic girl, a Duranie, rebellious teenage runaway, juvenile delinquent, friend, lover, teen mom, college student, wife, heart-breaker, teacher, occult student, Tarot reader, Priestess, & one who lives with chronic pain. These are just a few off the top of my head. Now obviously there are some roles I am not proud of and there are those that make me happy inside. Each one of those roles has been a unique learning experience and has led my life in many different directions. Two of those things I have been for more than half my life; and those two things are a wife and mom.

The role of a wife and mom are are what most people identify me as, because they are the two roles I show most to the world. They are big pieces of my life, and I love being those things. My journey as a wife and mom has given me some of my most beautiful and amazing memories and I know there are good things to come (even through the muddy waters of problem children). The roles of wife and mom are pieces of my life but they don’t define me. These roles are what they are; roles. The real me, (the real you, the real them) is infinite and immeasurable. Everyone is their own being with a unique spirit and a spark of the divine, and yet I can sometimes bog myself down with labels. Do you do that too? Yes, I’m married, I have children, I’m a pet owner, volunteer, and homemaker. I have many interests and hobbies. I am blessed with those things and those are a part of my being, but not the totality of me.

Why do we limit ourselves with our self-image? Why do we habitually identify our uniqueness with roles and titles, employment and status, what we own or what we don’t own, our personality traits and our looks? It’s self-limiting, and I don’t believe that’s the entire reason for this incarnation and most definitely not my soul’s existence. There’s so much more to me. It was time to knock down those walls I’d made. It was time to expand my sense of self and open myself up to new opportunities. There was room needed for my new dreams and ideas to flourish.

So, who am I?

In learning to know myself, I have had to become more aware during times of meditation, journaling, and when reading the Tarot for myself. From time to time I pause and ask myself if I am keeping to certain roles during this time of introspection, or am I floating free of those labels? Am I looking at the whole picture of me? This has helped me tremendously in letting go. I was surprised at first when I felt more complete the more I let go. Now it comes naturally when I’m in my quiet time and space of solitude. It has become an immeasurably important piece of my life, allowing me to step back in order see the strength and beauty of who I was, who I am, and the woman I aspire to be.

Blessings on your Journey )O(

Create Garden Goddesses

May 13, 2015May 13, 2015 / The Zen Witch / 2 Comments

My kids and I got Craft Happy and made some cute little Garden Goddesses to grace our little Fairy Village currently under construction beneath the holly bush/tree. I grabbed some small clay pots, I thought they’d be a sturdy base, and turned them over creating the ‘skirt’ if you will. The bodies were made with another tiny clay pot turned upside down secured in place with a small wooden dowel through both drainage holes and then secured with help of a glue gun. Actually the entire project incorporated the use of a glue gun. I bought my kids a low heat glue gun and I use my regular one. The kiddos still need to be extra careful because hot glue can blister little fingertips.

The upside down clay pot for a sturdy base and shape for the ‘skirt’.

I also grabbed my Craft Crap Box that has you-name-it inside and found plenty of fabric scraps, including tulle (didn’t even know I had that) and muslin, different types of craft moss, flower embellishments, seashells, straw, twine, feathers, etc. We also went outside and gathered twigs and other interesting items, and then we were set.

We each had full reign of our individual Garden Goddess, designing and constructing them with our own vision. Not surprisingly, each of the Garden Goddesses came out very different from one another, and were as unique as we each are. When we were finished, we named our Goddess and told a little bit about her personality and purpose.

I made mine as an Earth Garden Goddess to bring magick to the soil and to nurture seedlings, roots, trees, and everything in-between. She will bring blossoming energy to help create a perfect environment for our Fairy Village, enticing the Fairy Folk to come and occupy the garden. As an Earth Garden Goddess, she will give protection to all creatures big and small, blessing our Fairy Village with stability and abundance.

My 9 year-old daughter’s Garden Goddess is named the Whispering Willow Goddess. She will bring song, laughter and joy to our Fairy Village. She plays the flute and sings in harmony with the fairy folk, and if your heart is open, then you too can hear the merriment. Her voice whispers on the wind, and her giggles land softly on the outdoor wind chimes. Her happiness and mirth is the dandelion fluff that floats through the air on a warm sunny day breeze. She brings whimsical happiness to our Fairy Village.

My 7 year-old son’s Garden Goddess is The Seashell Goddess, who has come to help the fairy Village stay green and happy by bringing rain from the sea. The life giving water is essential for the survival of the Fairy Village and the woodland and creatures all around. As a Shell Goddess, she is deeply connected to ocean waves and the pull of the moon. She reminds us to look at the sky on the night of the Full Moon and admire her beautiful glow, which will also light up the Fairy Village for their Full Moon Dance!

I do hope you try these cute Garden Goddesses with your children. We can’t wait to place them in the garden to watch over our new Fairy Village beneath the holly tree.

Many Blessings on Your Journey )O(

Honoring Our Mother in all Her Forms

May 9, 2015May 9, 2015 / The Zen Witch / Leave a comment

As an eclectic pagan family we celebrate Mother’s Day as a day to respect and honor the our Mother, both cosmic and human, whether biological, kinship group, or fostered. Our mother figure is the one who nurtured us, loved us unconditionally, and with whom we are bonded to. It’s also a day to give honor to the Divine Feminine, the quintessential mother archetype.

Many customs, traditions, holidays, and observances can be traced back to their pagan roots. We live closely connected to the cycles of the seasons and the ebb and flow of the moon cycle, but we also choose to embrace other age-old holidays and traditions of the world as well. It’s our way of teaching our children to understand society’s connection to the ancient ways and to gain knowledge about how customs and traditions evolve over time, just as societies have continued to do.

With Mother’s day tomorrow, we as a family have been discussion the origins of the Great Earth-Mother and her importance throughout history. The sacred feminine is a powerful influence in human history, as Mother-Earth worship was around long before the recent patriarchal society which began around 3,000 BC. Evidence of the powerful feminine influence and importance weaves itself through the patterns of ancient matriarchal societies (a small handful still exist in the world today).

Mother-Earth worship and reverence for the Feminine Divine has been found as far back as the Paleolithic period. The Venus of Willendorf sculpture, one of the most well-known figurines representing the Sacred Feminine, is estimated to have been carved between 30,000-22,000 BCE. When I look at her I am in awe of the sheer power of her female body. For me, there is no doubt that she encompasses the magick of the sacred feminine as a symbol of fertility, abundance, strength and stability. She is the embodiment of motherhood and (although some would disagree) beauty.

Even long before the Venus of Willendorf was created, there is evidence of Feminine Divine worship. It has been discovered to exist throughout time and that ancient cultures around the world share its characteristics. These discoveries have been dated as far back as 2.5 million years ago up until the introduction of agriculture around 10,000 BCE. This time-span covers the greatest portion of humanity’s time on Earth, proving how powerful their dedication and reverence for the sacred feminine and the Mother archetype was. They understood the enduring connection of the divine love between a mother and her child.

There is something beautiful, remarkable, and inexplicable to others when trying to describe the love I have for my children. Yet, the intimate bond that mothers share with their child has existed throughout time and throughout the world. Once bonded with their child, the connection between mother and child is said to be one of the strongest connections in nature. I remember holding my firstborn child for the very first time just as much as my second, third, and fourth. For me there were no favorites, just an immeasurable quantity of love. It’s a powerful emotion when you love your child, and the experience brings much laughter and joy. However, the same power of that emotion can just as easily make you weep with tears. It’s a relationship that is as demanding as it is rewarding, and as humbling as it is cherished.

My children are now 24, 18, 9, and 7 and I can honestly say that It didn’t matter how many temper tantrums, adolescent woes, and disagreements there were, my love stayed true. I somehow knew the bond was meant to shift and change as each child grew more independent, becoming the person they were meant to be. Even as they begin to reach adulthood, the strength of that bond never fades.

It is difficult for me to step back and allow them to make what I feel are really bad decisions, like having relationships with people I disapprove of, or deciding not to go to college. It breaks my heart and hurts my soul that my oldest is a heroin addict, but she is still my child.

My empathy has grown through my experiences raising children and when I look out at the world, I cannot fathom the heartache the Great-Mother must be feeling. But She remains steadfast, and She is ever-present with a watchful eye, unwavering in Her unconditional love. Like me, she hopes for the best. I admire her enduring strength and compassion and I honor her by following her lead, aspiring to be the best mom I can be.

I’ve overheard excited whispers throughout this past week as they plan a special treat for me on the morning of Mother’s Day. I am overwhelmed with joy at their excitement and whether they bring me breakfast in bed or spray me with silly string, I will join in with their laughter, and relish the bounce as they jump into bed with me.

I will also appreciate and cherish the effort made from my older children by way of cards, small gifts, or just doing something nice for me (I desperately need my car washed). I hope for a phone call from my oldest. No matter what I receive/don’t receive, I will give special thanks for the opportunity to be a mother to these special beings of light in my life.

My way of honoring my mom will be letting her know how thankful and appreciative I am for all that she has given me. I want to thank her for adopting me, giving me a home and family. For sharing the joy in my accomplishments as well as for putting up with my rebellious teenage years. I am going to let her know how important she is is to me by taking her out for coffee and piece of pie, then off to her favorite nursery to let her choose some flowers for her garden (and I may find something for myself as well), It’s a time and place set aside just for us, to appreciate the loving energy we share for one another.

Is she the perfect mother? No. Am I the perfect daughter? Oh Hell No! Am I a perfect mom? I’ll admit that I am not, but I sure try my best. It’s those imperfections that make us human and remind us that one of the greatest lessons in life is to learn compassion and to love without judgement. And what a beautiful feeling it is when you feel that unconditional love in return.

Who is the Mother-Figure in your life? How are you planning to honor her? If you yourself are a mother, how are you planning on honoring yourself?

Many Blessings on your Journey )O(

Beautiful Beltane Blessings

May 3, 2015May 8, 2015 / The Zen Witch / Leave a comment

Hearts Awaken, Fairies Afoot

Beltane is on or about the halfway mark between Spring Equinox and the Summer Solstice so here in the Pacific Northwest the weather usually becomes milder and the daylight noticeably stretches further and further into the evening hours.Thursday, April 30, May Eve, was when Mercury entered Gemini, remaining there until the beginning part of June. This is a time to feel inspired to travel and learn, maybe even take on a new class or venture out to a new destination. With Mercury in Gemini I need to remember one key element for a continuing successful Beltane weekend. Communication. I’ll need an open mind and to embrace spontaneity to bring Beltane Blessings into the hearts and lives of my loved ones, and to effectively extend the loving energy flow to our Mother Earth who so desperately needs it.

On Friday my children and I gathered moss, fallen twigs and bark and created a fun little fairy playground to place under our giant holly bush. We made a little gazebo complete with a swing, and a giant slide with ladder. A welcome sign pulls it all together. We have planned to continue making things for the fairy folk throughout the summer. This morning we are finishing up a house and the kids are really involved. Who am I kidding? I think I’m just as much (if not more) into it than my children are!

Last night my husband and I had a quiet evening at home for our private Beltane observance so I cooked up some sensual pleasures to share with my him to honor our union of Mind, Body, and Spirit. Our ritual was wonderful, beginning with a massage and went on from there. *wink*

So What is a Zen Witch, Anyway?

May 3, 2015May 3, 2015 / The Zen Witch / 2 Comments

The Art of Zen Witchery

I don’t like labeling, but in the ‘real’ world, internet personas, and for the sake of easily explaining my theory and practice, I am a Zen Witch. Spirituality is, and always will be evolving, and over the past four decades I have seen a real shift in my own spiritual thinking and the way I personally practice my Path and my Craft. Reflecting back on my childhood years growing up Catholic, to my exploration of self-awareness in the New Age school of thought, to becoming a professional Tarot reader, then on to spending a summer being wild with a group of Maenads and freely expressing my devotion to Dionysus, to my practice of being a hedgewitch, and then on to becoming an initiated Wiccan High Priestess, I realize that I’ve developed a true sense of my spirituality, and can’t help but wonder what other adventures are in store for me.

For me the definition of ‘Zen’ and the definition of ‘Witch’ are complimentary. Being a Zen Witch is melding the best of two spiritual worlds to fit nicely within my spiritual framework. There’s no ‘one size fits all’ thinking. It’s about weaving in what works best for me. My way is most certainly not the only way and what works for me may hinder another’s spiritual growth. See, that’s the beauty of eclecticism in spiritual practice. It’s the take it or leave it approach. I take what feels right, incorporate it into my spiritual practice, and then leave the rest behind. And if, for any reason I want to tweak something, it’s my right to do so. Some might say it’s just Eclectic Paganism, but I think Zen Witch has a nice ring to it, Don’t you?

The Zen part of being a Zen Witch comes from the way I take a holistic approach to spirituality. I practice elements of Zen and find it very much akin to Witchcraft, especially for it’s lessons and practice in self-discovery. It is a way of living by blending both body and mind. For finding the true nature of your spirit. It’s developing a discipline which leads to effective meditation and awareness. This in turn nurtures the expansion of intuition which is crucial to performing any spell within the realm of Witchcraft. Karma and the Three-Fold Law go hand in hand. Reincarnation and past-life regression is a partnership that creates a deep level of knowing exactly who you were and your purpose in this incarnation. However as a Zen Witch, I am not a Witchy Buddhist, although I’m sure there are many out there who may call themselves just that. It’s actually kind of cute, only it’s not me.

Zen is about finding balance and practicing mindfulness in everyday life. It’s a guide to living which expands awareness of my true self while acknowledging my unique oneness with the universe. It’s being compassionate and practicing mindfulness. It’s about being kind to yourself and others. It’s about being a good person.

The ‘Witch’ part of being a Zen Witch means I draw on several traditions of Wicca, but I do not consider myself ‘Wiccan’. I’ve referred to myself as a ‘Witch, Pagan, or Tree-Hugging Dirt Worshiper. I use minimal tools, but I always cast a Circle, honor the directions, and give thanks to the Divine. I love speaking the beautiful Charge of the Goddess during ritual and I appreciate Doreen Valiente’s written work, but I just can’t box myself in the Gardnerianism role. I have a Book of Shadows and am currently working on my third grimoire. I prefer working as a solitary when I’m performing spellwork or personal/intimate rituals. There are then times I choose to celebrate in Circle with my Sisters in Spirit for the Sabbats. I also enjoy being a part of larger public rituals within the greater Pagan community whether as a writer of the ritual, the High Priestess, or as a participant. Public ritual is important because it shares the beauty of Pagan ritual with others, it also promotes religious tolerance which is so desperately needed in the world, even in a city as culturally diverse in its thinking and well known for its open-mindedness as Portland.

My spiritual practice is a daily practice; a way of life. As a Zen Witch I practice grounding and centering, visualization, mindfulness, and personal responsibility. Auras, karma, dreamwork, astral travel, and divination all go into the big pot as well. There’s spells, charms, herbalism and healing.

I honor the Earth, my higher power (which is deeply personal and private to me) the elements, and elementals (yes, faeries too). I keep busy with dream work, journaling, scrying, and all types of creativity. Crystals, trance work, tantra and yoga are important to my overall well being. Chants, symbols & sigils, runes and divination. Astrology, and lunar phases. It’s all there, but there’s so much more. This doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface. The basic most fundamental and important aspect of my spiritual practice is that it’s a daily practice.

Descartes once wrote, “Cogito ergo sum” or “I think, therefore I am.”

I am simply a Zen Witch not only because I said so, but because I am acutely aware of why I’m saying so.

From me to you,

Blessings on your Journey )O(